Baby,
I think you are finally on your way. I think it is real this time. Oh how I pray it is.
A few days ago, I got a very unexpected phone call while I was driving home from work. I looked down at my phone and saw an 801 area code calling me. For some reason, I just knew that the call had something to do with our adoption. When I answered, it was a young woman named Katie Stratford, and she said that she wants to give us her baby.
After hearing her words, I was absolutely speechless. What could I say? How could I possibly thank her for giving us the blessing that has been the deepest desire of our hearts for the past several years?
After I sputtered out an awkward reply, she and I talked for quite some time about her life and her decision to pursue adoption. She seems incredibly sweet, mature, and selfless. She is 16 and recognizes that she and her boyfriend cannot yet provide for a baby. She wants the baby to have a good home, and she wants to give the baby to a couple who desperately wants him/her.
I cannot help but love her. Even over the phone and email, I can feel of her goodness, and I want to be close to her and support her during this experience. I am amazed by her willingness to suffer the physical, emotional, and social pains of pregnancy so that we can have a precious baby to love. It is the most Christ-like thing anyone has ever done for me.
Baby, I want you to know that a lot of love went into Katie’s decision: love for you, love for us, love for God and His plan for her. Your life is going to be full of love. Your dad and I will pour it out on you every day, and Katie and Drew want to continue to be part of your life as well. I’m not totally sure how the open adoption will look, but you will definitely know your birth parents. Your dad and I will be forever grateful for their selfless gift to us, and we will treasure and cherish you until the day we die.
I do think Katie is certain about this decision. I really think that you are on your way to us—in only six months!
I say “only six months” but really, that seems like an eternity…I wish you were going to be here tomorrow—I want to snuggle you! It is going to be difficult for me to wait, and it’s going to be difficult for me not to worry: What if Katie changes her mind? I know right now she is sure, but she hasn’t yet felt you kick inside of her. What if she can’t bear to part with you? I wouldn’t blame her.
I’ve just had my heartbroken so often in the last year that it’s scary to allow myself to hope that you are almost here. And yet, I can’t live in fear. I have to trust God. This feels good and right to us, and it feels good and right to Katie too. We’ll all just have to trust that, pray often, and communicate with each other often. The next six months are going to be the journey of a lifetime, and, really, that will only be the beginning of the journey.
You are almost here, Sweet One. I really think you are.
Love,
Mom
