Just Chillin' On a Saturday Morning with Dad

Road Trip!

We made the long journey home to Colorado from Utah.  Thank goodness Aunt Laura came along for the ride--the trip that usually takes 8 hours took a lot longer with you!  We stopped multiple times to change your diaper, feed you, and stop you from fussing.  Overall, you were really good, but I am so happy to be home with Dad again!

Our first stop was Provo, Utah, where my good friend Molly Hunter took your gorgeous one-week photos.  We will treasure those images forever.  Aunt Laura helped me get you ready for the big photo shoot by styling your mohawk. :)

After the photo shoot, we drove for several hours to Green River, Utah, where I performed by first diaper change in the car--with you on my lap (don't worry, the car was parked!):

You look surprised by the vigor of my kiss. :)

 Then it was on to Grand Junction, Colorado, where we stayed with your LaBonde cousins for the night.  They were all so excited to meet you!

Aunt Beth and Cousin Marcus

Two cute boys in yellow

Too cute

Cousin Jordan

Cousin Lauren

Uncle Steve

 The next day, we drove all the way to Denver.  You were tired!

Lunch stop in Vail, Colorado.  Can you see the car on the front of your shirt?  We thought it was an appropriate outfit for the occasion.

When we arrived home in Denver, you had quite the entourage waiting for you--most notably your Aunt Sarah.  When we rang the doorbell, she came running to the door screaming.  She couldn't even wait for us to get in the house before she pulled you out of your car seat and snuggled you. :)

A bit more reserved perhaps, but just as excited, were your great grandparents and Uncle Logan.

And of course, your cousin Callum was eager to meet "Baby Noah."  He showed you one of his favorite cars and gave you multiple kisses.  I think you two are going to be best friends.

Your dad was so happy to see you.  He refused to put you down for the rest of the right, even while he was finishing up his work for the following day, and he hung a cute sign on your bedroom door, welcoming you home.

Together at last!!

Our Little Sweetheart

Words cannot express how much we love you and how blessed we are to have you in our life.  

Letter from Dad on Your One-Week Birthday

Noah,

In a few more hours it will have been exactly one week since you came into this world.   This brand new experience with you has taught me so much already.  My faith in God has grown.  I feel as though this experience fits perfectly into the path my mortal life has taken; it’s as though I knew this hard sanctifying trial would come, but now that we’re through the crux of the trial, it’s as though I knew all along it would end in the perfect way that it has.  There was a comfortable peace and assurance leading up to you being placed with us by your birth parents.

This week, I re-read a quote that I’d heard in church the Sunday before you arrived: “We are only able to truly love what we honestly sacrifice for.”  This was given in a talk about pioneers the day before Pioneer Day.  These courageous Saints sacrificed everything for the Gospel and to travel to Salt Lake for religious freedom.  Love was their motivation, and increased love for their religion was the result.  Similarly, your birth parents were drawn to adoption out of love.  Pain and sacrifice was felt on both sides, by the struggles we went through to get you and by the sacrifice they made to give you up.  In the months leading up to your birth, your mothers felt the pain of this struggle and sacrifice most acutely. Katie went through lots of physical pain throughout pregnancy and in labor and delivery; your mom went through intense emotional distress, agony, and heartache as she dealt with months of infertility, failed adoptions and waiting with no guarantee that you would finally be ours at the end of it all.  In the end, I know that they both love you more because of the sacrifices they made in your behalf all along the way.

Today, I again listened with amazement as your mom recounted to friends the days surrounding your birth.  I am so grateful for many of the little details:  Your mom was there to witness the labor and birth; I was there supporting her just outside the door and heard your first cries; Drew supported Katie through it all with such encouragement and confidence; Katie amazed everyone with her endurance throughout an epidural-free delivery.  I will never forget spending the first morning with you so serene and peaceful in your swaddled blanket, or the adoption caseworkers who were so empathetic, kind and trusting with the adoption paperwork and placement.  A culminating moment in the whole experience was having Katie’s dad Mark bless you while surrounded by Katie’s and Drew’s families.  It was sacred.  In Mark’s blessing, he blessed you that you would know the love of so many families who care about you and that this love will go with you throughout your life.  Noah, there are so many people who prayed for you even before your birth.  Many of them may never meet you--but they are people who loved your birth parents and adoptive parents and who devoted their faith to giving you and them a happier life.  Seven days after your birth, there are 65 comments on our blog expressing happiness for your arrival.  The first day after you birth, there were over 700 views of our blog.  These are people who were cheering for and supporting you even before you came into the world.

I have felt so many emotions this week.  I cried when Drew hugged your mom in the delivery room for several minutes.  I cried when Katie’s uncle Bruce and his wife came to congratulate us at the hospital and were so excited for us.  I cried when I told Rachel about the unkind email that my boss, Dr. Klein, sent because I had to miss work--I was upset, tired, and worried.  But then I cried again when the chief resident, Azi, and my good friends from Buffalo, Creed and Taylor, all sent the kindest texts to me all at once--I was overwhelmed by the caring and support.  I cried when Rachel read me the excited blog post that your aunt Ashley wrote about your arrival.  I cried when Katie’s dad, Mark, came to our room at the hospital, right after Katie had signed the relinquishment paperwork, and told us that he had given my grandma Barbara a blessing in that very hospital, shortly after he found out about Katie’s pregnancy and her intention to place the baby with us.  My grandma has dementia, but he said that she understood through the Spirit what he meant when he said that her grandchildren and great grandchildren would call her blessed.  I cried when Katie’s caseworker, Sarah, came into our room and told us that Katie and Drew had signed the adoption papers and you were really our son.  And finally, I cried when I was hugging Katie and Drew as they placed you in our arms and said their goodbyes at the hospital. 

I’m grateful to hold you, to feel your hair, to smell your newness and to feel devoted to making you happy.  All I wanted for my birthday this weekend was to hold you again and be near you.  I couldn’t stay away no matter the cost of an airplane ticket or what else I might have to get done at work.  I crave spending time with you, and I feel like you have brought a “love high” into my life.  Your mom and I can’t stop saying how much we love you.  And it’s not just us.  It’s Katie and Drew, their families, our parents, siblings, friends, and whoever comes to see you.  This weekend, I was holding you in the shade with my back against the stone wall of the Salt Lake temple and people stopped to smile at you and welcome you into the world.  Soon we’ll take you to the temple and have you sealed to us.  I truly cannot wait for that moment.

As I write this letter and think back on this week, I feel like it has flown by.  I’m sad it’s gone so fast.  It feels almost bittersweet to recount these memories.  It makes me realize that life doesn’t stop, and soon you will be cruising through so many stages of life – walking, talking, school, mission, college, family of your own. 

Noah, I love the life I’ve had.  I love what God has taught me and what he will teach me through you.  I’m so excited that you’re my son and that we get to go through this journey together. I love God and feel his closeness in the sweet way He’s gone about giving you to us.  Thank you for coming and for being you.  Never forget how much you are loved.

With all the peace, love and happiness in me,

Dad

Mother and Son

 

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute,

you didn't grow under my heart--but in it.

I love you, Sweet Noah.

Letter from Mom on Your One-Week Birthday

Dearest Sweetest, Most Precious Noah,

One week ago, I held you in my arms for the first time.  I heard your tiny cry and saw your perfect little face, and I shed tears of joy, amazement, and relief.  You are a miracle.  A tiny, perfect miracle—with a head of soft brown hair and a set of piercing dark blue eyes.

In the hours leading up to your birth, I marveled at the strength and courage of your birth mom, Katie.  She labored with you for over 12 hours, enduring unimaginable pain to bring you into this world.  Throughout her labor, I sat in awestruck silence in the corner of her hospital room, wanting to support her but not sure how, realizing this was a journey that only she and God would ever fully understand.

And then, I watched her push you into the world.  I stood beside her and held her hand as you emerged, first your head, then your shoulders, then your perfect little body, fresh from heaven.  That’s when the tears started.  I have never witnessed anything so sacred.

And then you were in my arms—all wrapped up in a blanket with a tiny little hat on your head.  You looked up at me, and I looked back at you, and your dad wrapped his arms around both of us and laid his head on my shoulder.  I had imagined this moment for so many months and wondered how it would feel.  Would I feel immediately connected to you?  Would I feel like your mother?  Would I fall in love at first sight? 

Looking back on the moment now, all I remember is the love that I felt—for you, for Katie, and for everyone in the room.  I knew without a doubt that you were my son, and I knew that I could not have been granted such a gift without Katie.  She and I are now connected by something deeper even than friendship or respect.  We are connected by our love for you, and that is a bond that will never break, no matter what the coming years bring. 

Even as I gazed down on you in amazement, I could not stand to be away from Katie’s side.  The nurses had ushered me to a corner of the room where they could clean, warm, and weigh you, but I could see Katie in the bed, craning her neck to catch a glimpse of you, and I could not possibly stay away.  I rushed to her bedside and showed her the miracle that she had just delivered—a beautiful, healthy, precious, perfect little angel.  She reached out for you and smiled, and I have never seen such joy and love in someone’s face. I lowered you into her arms, and she cooed and kissed you and held you close.  It was a beautiful and perfect sight.

Your birth dad, Drew, was beside her.  He had been beside her for the entire twelve hour labor, holding her hand, putting pressure on her back to ease the pain of the contractions, doing whatever was asked of him.  Throughout the labor, my heart swelled with love for him as I watched his support of Katie.  He is a good, kind, strong young man who loves you very much—that was apparent in his tears the moment he first saw you and in the awe on his face as he watched Katie holding you for the first time.  A few minutes later, after he and everyone in the room had held you, I put my arm around him and told him I was proud of him.  He said, “Don’t count me out of this kid’s life!” I responded sincerely, “You’re in, Drew—you’re definitely in!” He grabbed me in a tight hug and didn’t let go for several minutes.  It was one of the most precious moments of my life.

In the minutes after your birth, it felt like time slowed down in that hospital room.  The Spirit was tangible.  Peace blanketed all of us, as we passed you from family member to family member, and we all gave a little piece of our hearts to you.  In the first ten minutes of your life, you were held by your mom, your birth mom, your dad, your birth dad, your birth grandparents, and your grandma.  I’m sure that so much love has never been poured on one little boy in such a short amount of time.  As we all shared you and loved you, I have never felt Heaven so close.

Sweetest Noah, you are so loved.  So loved.  Before we left the hospital with you, Katie held you in her arms as you were surrounded by three men who gave you a special priesthood blessing. Katie’s dad, your dad, and Drew’s grandpa all laid their hands on your tiny little head, and Mark voiced the blessing, promising that the love of your birth parents and of all of the family members in that room would become a part of you and go with you throughout your life.  That is a remarkable promise, and I have no doubt that you will grow to be a remarkable man.  Every morning, as I cradle you and feed you a bottle, I look into your dark blue eyes and say a prayer thanking God that you are my son.  I ask Him to protect you, be with you, and bless you to grow up strong, honorable, honest, and kind.  I ask Him to bless me as your mother to know how to love you, teach you, and meet your needs. 

You are our miracle, Noah, our gift from Heavenly Father.  I have grown so much closer to the Lord through the process of waiting for you and then watching you come into this beautiful, complicated world.  I can only imagine how much closer you will bring me to Heavenly Father in the coming years, as I strive to be the mother that you deserve.  Truly, “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.”  Philippians 1:3

With a heart and soul brimming with love and gratitude for you,

Mom

This necklace says "Mama" on it.  Your Aunt Sarah made it for me when I was awaiting your arrival.